When Bite Back first showed up on my phone screen, I didn’t instantly remember what it was but then I read the headline “Normalcy is a scam and broccoli is a narc” and immediately knew it was Tess Komen and that I had to read it immediately.
What does this thoughtfully written and deliciously crude blog have in common with your past work in food media content? YOU. We are here for YOU and we will take YOU any way YOU come. (Apologies for the aggress caps.) Forget the pressure of what you think people expect of you; your eloquent-cy (not a word but should be...op, it's eloquence) and the sharing of your trauma is a gift. And your 'normal', right now. So roll with it sista, because it's glorious. And don't let that broccoli rabe you of your power (a little broccoli humor...I can't). Also, went down a deep dive of fistulas. I have no words. None. Nada.
I love this! I've been following you since delish days and as much as so many of us miss your food content, I love this side of you more. I'm sure it's not comfortable to be this raw and vulnerable to a bunch of strangers on the internet but what you're writing is speaking to so many people who have a chronic illness and making them feel like they're not alone.
I'm so sorry you've been dealing this for so long but just know that so many of your followers and supporters are here for you and we're all so excited to see what's next to come from you! Thank you for being you!
I needed this -- I don't have Crohn's but I have Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome (which is thankfully not bowel-destroying but involves fairly long periods of not eating and then basically re-feeding oneself one glass of Pedialyte at a time) and the struggle of managing food PTSD, fear of accidentally triggering another episode, feeling like I'm playing Russian roulette anytime I eat something high in fiber or acid, the feeling of being a burden and sick past the point where it feels like you deserve help, while trying to be employed and "normal" is a real tightrope act. The broccoli anxiety is so real.
I really love that this is addressed TO the chronically ill and not ABOUT US to other people begging them to recognize that we are not being ill AT them! Looking forward to the YouTube series.
Tess - I had no idea about these struggles and that you were hospitalized until I saw your IG /signed up for this substack! I know several people with various stages of Chrons including my sister (though hers is much less severe) to the more severe and see how debilitating it can be. It's amazing how candidly you're telling this story as so many people are unaware of this chronic illness. Kudos to you! Sending you big healing hugs and the most positive vibes for you on this health journey!!
A friend pointed me to your substack today, and I'm enjoying it already. I love how your word choices paint a clear picture of what you're enduring. Bravo! Keep going.
I can't help but wonder though: Couldn't you put broccoli firmly in the camp of "Maybe I could, but why?". I mean it may be symbolic for you, but it doesn't have to be. You mentioned cauliflower: still in the veggie family, but cooked cauli is going to be kinder to a sensitive gut. I roast veggies at least once a week (cauliflower, carrots, mushrooms, red bell peppers, sweet potatoes, all cooked well enough that I can cut them easily with a fork, but not mushy). My token broccoli inclusion is really only enough to make it look pretty with some dark green, and I leave most of the broccoli for my husband to eat. It's not about not eating broccoli, it's about choosing other healthy things over broccoli. And maybe sneaking in a floret or two when your gut isn't looking. ;-)
Can we ask delicate questions? If not, ignore this: are you saying the fistula made it so good came out part of the vagina? I had a fistula in my bladder once due to a surgery, and I just peed nonstop. It was terrible. Not as terrible as the other tho!
I would love to know more about what foods you can and can’t eat/ how it’s changed over the years and how you deal with that and your work/love for food. I remember you and your husband on a burger tour in nyc years ago and I was like “damn she’s so brave eating those burgers all around the city”. Because foods like hamburgers don’t agree with MY stomach. I know everyone is different, so would love to hear one day. (Other than broccoli. I now know about broccoli) :)
Bowel issues 🤝 favorite stall…one can not exist without the other haha. I agree that it can be hard for normalcy and grace to coexist. I’m definitely interested to hear next week about your experience with not being able to actually consume food for months. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been! Glad to hear you’re feeling progress and able to take walks. Hoping the score’s Tess 1, Broccoli 0. 🩷
Hi there, Crohn’s-diseased father of two young kids writing in from the post-surgical unit hospital bed merely to say it is validating to have even haphazardly encountered another in similar shoes. Hardest part about this disease—well, ok, not the very hardest, but probably top five—is its invisibility, its lack of relatability in civilian life. So I hope you (and others) keep writing about these strange experiences!
Loved this “first real send”. I really love your writing style. I’ve been following you for years, from a suggestion by Carlye Wisel on her theme park podcast several years ago.
Although I don’t have experience with chronic illness, the advice about recovery and setting small daily & weekly goals is fantastic. I’m actually on leave right now recovering from a double mastectomy and am struggling with this. Feeling like I should feel “back to normal” by now, but I am not. I am still sore and in pain all the time, tired, emotional, etc etc. Nowhere near what you have been through, but the advice about giving yourself grace & attainable, measurable goals is still great.
The hill I will die on is my call to CEOs, presidents of schools, hospitals and and and to make SOFT FUCKING TOLIET PAPER THE STANDARD!
Please write more about how cruel and unusual it is for us IBDers in public restrooms. One-ply anything can fuck right off.
Before my end ileostomy, I would have people bring me “the good” toilet paper to the hospital while inpatient. Why oh why can’t they AT VERY LEAST give the GI INPATIENT FLOOR of the hospital better toilet paper??!
They send surveys after any inpatient care and under “other comments” I always write about this.
I can’t make changes alone…and I no longer need to wipe my butt… BUT, i Soldier on for the ones that do. <3
When Bite Back first showed up on my phone screen, I didn’t instantly remember what it was but then I read the headline “Normalcy is a scam and broccoli is a narc” and immediately knew it was Tess Komen and that I had to read it immediately.
What does this thoughtfully written and deliciously crude blog have in common with your past work in food media content? YOU. We are here for YOU and we will take YOU any way YOU come. (Apologies for the aggress caps.) Forget the pressure of what you think people expect of you; your eloquent-cy (not a word but should be...op, it's eloquence) and the sharing of your trauma is a gift. And your 'normal', right now. So roll with it sista, because it's glorious. And don't let that broccoli rabe you of your power (a little broccoli humor...I can't). Also, went down a deep dive of fistulas. I have no words. None. Nada.
Good luck with the broccoli, but also fuck broccoli 😘
I love this! I've been following you since delish days and as much as so many of us miss your food content, I love this side of you more. I'm sure it's not comfortable to be this raw and vulnerable to a bunch of strangers on the internet but what you're writing is speaking to so many people who have a chronic illness and making them feel like they're not alone.
I'm so sorry you've been dealing this for so long but just know that so many of your followers and supporters are here for you and we're all so excited to see what's next to come from you! Thank you for being you!
I needed this -- I don't have Crohn's but I have Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome (which is thankfully not bowel-destroying but involves fairly long periods of not eating and then basically re-feeding oneself one glass of Pedialyte at a time) and the struggle of managing food PTSD, fear of accidentally triggering another episode, feeling like I'm playing Russian roulette anytime I eat something high in fiber or acid, the feeling of being a burden and sick past the point where it feels like you deserve help, while trying to be employed and "normal" is a real tightrope act. The broccoli anxiety is so real.
I really love that this is addressed TO the chronically ill and not ABOUT US to other people begging them to recognize that we are not being ill AT them! Looking forward to the YouTube series.
I think this healed my medical trauma (or at least helped me feel better a little bit). Keep posting!
Tess - I had no idea about these struggles and that you were hospitalized until I saw your IG /signed up for this substack! I know several people with various stages of Chrons including my sister (though hers is much less severe) to the more severe and see how debilitating it can be. It's amazing how candidly you're telling this story as so many people are unaware of this chronic illness. Kudos to you! Sending you big healing hugs and the most positive vibes for you on this health journey!!
This was very open and intriguing to read. I love your writing voice and look forward to reading your future posts. Keep going!
Chronic illness in general is a bitch and Crohn’s is a nasty one. I’ve followed you for a long time and your voice in this space is so important.
A friend pointed me to your substack today, and I'm enjoying it already. I love how your word choices paint a clear picture of what you're enduring. Bravo! Keep going.
I can't help but wonder though: Couldn't you put broccoli firmly in the camp of "Maybe I could, but why?". I mean it may be symbolic for you, but it doesn't have to be. You mentioned cauliflower: still in the veggie family, but cooked cauli is going to be kinder to a sensitive gut. I roast veggies at least once a week (cauliflower, carrots, mushrooms, red bell peppers, sweet potatoes, all cooked well enough that I can cut them easily with a fork, but not mushy). My token broccoli inclusion is really only enough to make it look pretty with some dark green, and I leave most of the broccoli for my husband to eat. It's not about not eating broccoli, it's about choosing other healthy things over broccoli. And maybe sneaking in a floret or two when your gut isn't looking. ;-)
Good luck! ...Kelley
Can we ask delicate questions? If not, ignore this: are you saying the fistula made it so good came out part of the vagina? I had a fistula in my bladder once due to a surgery, and I just peed nonstop. It was terrible. Not as terrible as the other tho!
I would love to know more about what foods you can and can’t eat/ how it’s changed over the years and how you deal with that and your work/love for food. I remember you and your husband on a burger tour in nyc years ago and I was like “damn she’s so brave eating those burgers all around the city”. Because foods like hamburgers don’t agree with MY stomach. I know everyone is different, so would love to hear one day. (Other than broccoli. I now know about broccoli) :)
Bowel issues 🤝 favorite stall…one can not exist without the other haha. I agree that it can be hard for normalcy and grace to coexist. I’m definitely interested to hear next week about your experience with not being able to actually consume food for months. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been! Glad to hear you’re feeling progress and able to take walks. Hoping the score’s Tess 1, Broccoli 0. 🩷
Hi there, Crohn’s-diseased father of two young kids writing in from the post-surgical unit hospital bed merely to say it is validating to have even haphazardly encountered another in similar shoes. Hardest part about this disease—well, ok, not the very hardest, but probably top five—is its invisibility, its lack of relatability in civilian life. So I hope you (and others) keep writing about these strange experiences!
Loved this “first real send”. I really love your writing style. I’ve been following you for years, from a suggestion by Carlye Wisel on her theme park podcast several years ago.
Although I don’t have experience with chronic illness, the advice about recovery and setting small daily & weekly goals is fantastic. I’m actually on leave right now recovering from a double mastectomy and am struggling with this. Feeling like I should feel “back to normal” by now, but I am not. I am still sore and in pain all the time, tired, emotional, etc etc. Nowhere near what you have been through, but the advice about giving yourself grace & attainable, measurable goals is still great.
The hill I will die on is my call to CEOs, presidents of schools, hospitals and and and to make SOFT FUCKING TOLIET PAPER THE STANDARD!
Please write more about how cruel and unusual it is for us IBDers in public restrooms. One-ply anything can fuck right off.
Before my end ileostomy, I would have people bring me “the good” toilet paper to the hospital while inpatient. Why oh why can’t they AT VERY LEAST give the GI INPATIENT FLOOR of the hospital better toilet paper??!
They send surveys after any inpatient care and under “other comments” I always write about this.
I can’t make changes alone…and I no longer need to wipe my butt… BUT, i Soldier on for the ones that do. <3